1.      Track #6 on every CD is ALWAYS a good song. 

On just about every good album, ones that have more than just 2 good songs, you have your overplayed single that gets all the radio time but there is always the best song on the album that no one knows about.  They always reserve track 6 for this song.  And when I say always, I mean enough times for me to notice. 

2.      I bet police give out more speeding and reckless driving tickets at the beginning of summer, on Saturday evenings as people are just going out, and when the radio DJ is on fire. 

You ever see that one guy on the highway that went by you so fast that you checked your speedometer and thought you must be getting old and should be in the slow lane?  Don’t worry, it’s not you, his favorite song is on the radio and he actually caught it from the beginning.  There is something about a good song combined with good weather that adds ten pounds to your foot on the gas pedal.  Swerving through traffic, weaving in and out of lanes, it’s just a dance with other drivers to the beat.  If I get pulled over for doing this, I’ll just tell the cops, “Hey, Kanye’s new joint just came on…it’s not my fault.”

3.      When women have Oscar parties, why don’t their husbands/boyfriends want to join the party just to have people over?

In most cases, when an obsessed football guy plants himself on the couch in front of his beloved HD TV every Sunday for 17+ weeks, he’s only surrounded by a couple of his boys and a couple of his beers.  His woman avoids this situation like the plague, she doesn’t want to hear him yell at refs all day or listen to him try to explain the ins and outs of the rules AGAIN just so that she can understand why he gets so upset.  And she definitely doesn’t want to put up with his drunk friends either, especially the “one” that she always catches looking at her the wrong way, but her man will never believe it.  

When the Super Bowl rolls around, she’s there in full support, there to throw the best Super Bowl party she can imagine.  Football shaped ice cubes, fancy hors d'oeuvres that get smashed when the first big play happens.  She puts up with this trouble not for the pageantry of the game, but for the excitement of a good spirited party, and the commercials, of course. 

Since most football guys don’t watch the regular season of awards shows with such deep interest, if any at all, why don’t they get into the act when the Super Bowl of awards shows, the Oscars comes on?  All of his woman’s girlfriends in the living room, drinking beer and slamming their feet on the expensive coffee table while he tries to make sure the party is still going and everyone is fed.  Even though the rules aren’t complicated, he’ll still never understand why it is so important to have the best dress.  All the guys are wearing the same damn tux! 

--JJJ

 


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